i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
babies were throwing up all over the place
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
