Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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