I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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