is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
