Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
