If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
