I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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