he puts the penis in happiness.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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