in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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