This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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