No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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