I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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