Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
