All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
