Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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