I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
