If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
smell my finger.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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