mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
