found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
