i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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