from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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