His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize