Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
