3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Sorry about my life...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize