I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
