The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
