At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
The adults are the big ones right?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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