i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
