She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
