I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
