so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
