I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
