i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
