I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She's the barista slut.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
