Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
