i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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