the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
