I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
