Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
They are going to name an STD after you.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
