***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
