remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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