thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
