Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
