just come out here and I will go home with you...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
