That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
