I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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