I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
