I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
