Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize