i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
