Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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