it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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