then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
