If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you made out with another girl for some wings
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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