i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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