Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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