Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
