Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
