ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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