totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
