i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My liver just had a heart attack.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
