What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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