She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
